Zac, Won't You Be My Neighbor?

I found myself in an odd position last Saturday afternoon. I was bored, I never get bored. 

In a spur of the moment, I checked Fandango and discovered that the movie Neighbors was starting in ten minutes. On that note I hurried my ass out the door and I made it in just the nick of time. 

The original idea of spending an hour and a half watching a scantily clad Zac Efron (that's pretty much ecstasy as far as I see it) was quickly replaced with total joyous comedy. Comedy, folks, that was both ridiculous-raunchy, and crazy-smart. What a flipping great way to spend an afternoon.

I would write a review, but I honestly wouldn't want to spoil a second of this crazy flick for anyone. Therefore I say go see it! See it for some lovely Zac eye candy. See it for a good belly laugh. See it for stellar comic timing. See it because it's fucking great!!

Thank You Olivia

I saw my first Olivia concert at the age of 8 with my bestie Amber. Our moms surprised us with tickets for our birthdays and we were beyond excited.

Peering down at that far far away stage, my little legs dangling as they danced to the beat, I felt as if every dream I'd ever had in my whole eight years on Earth was coming true.

I gazed entranced, as Olivia sang with her angelic voice. I was awed by her ability to sing while jumping rope. At 8 I knew all about jump ropes, that was hard stuff.

She was simply amazing. I wanted to be her when I grew up. I was utterly in love, obsessed really, with everything Olivia after that. 

No family get together or neighborhood BBQ could be complete (or so I believed) without my lip synced rendition of Olivia's Greatest Hits Volume 2 or "acted out" scene from Grease.

There was the school talent show in which I sung Tuta La Vita complete with Oliviaesque sailer back ground dancers. Cheese cannot even begin to explain my adolescent-I-want-to- be-a-Newton-John-fantasy. 

How fun, and what a terrific cheerful humanitarian role model she was and still is. I see her as a beam of happiness illuminating moments of my life with song. Thanks Olivia. 

You-PS, I Love You

So I'm secretly in love with my UPS man and I'm not ashamed to blog about it. Are all UPS delivery drivers hotties? Does anyone else out there quiver at the sight of that "truck" driving up their lane? Does your heart beat faster, anticipating muscled legs and brown shorts?

You all know just what I mean don't you? 

Pretty nice package delivery I would say.

Oh, and they can read too.

Oops, I don't think UPS got my memo, this isn't exactly what I was thinking of.

I'm sure that UPS drivers come in all shapes and sizes, and of course, short shorts and long pants.

 

Thank you to the boys in brown.  ;)

Please Be Kind, Rewind

So, last night I had a crazy apocalyptic dream. This wasn't your ordinary end of the world kind of fantasy. Oh no! This was my subconscious' idea of the end of our natural society.

In my apocalypse, the tragedy was that there was no longer DVD or Blueray players. You're aghast right? There were only....wait for it...VCRs! You are horrified right?

In the dream people were going ape-shit to find these dinosaur machines of the 80's. People were killing for Video Recording Devices.

I was huddled in a strange dusty garage. Bicycles were hanging from the rafters and boxes lined the walls. Some mad-killer-dudes were searching for the VCR, and I knew just where it was. I knew in my heart of hearts that I absolutely could not let them find it!!!!!

(Hey dreams are so weird)

The other big deal (for me) in this messed up future was that there were no longer any restaurants and all edible food was canned. So scary! There was, however; still electricity, bathtubs, and the US Mail system. :)

My Auntie B. was, in-fact, mailing me a giant box filled with the old TV recordings I had from childhood, and in that box was a coveted recording of the made for TV Family Ties movie where they go to England. Yay!!!!

A world without restaurants, and only VCRs, could society live???

What would your personal apocalypse have in store for the world?

The Walking Dead, The Ten Things I Wonder...Do You?

I love The Walking Dead. I think it's brilliant and edgy. The actors are incredible. The makeup, the gross, is awesome. The fact that they can make continuous attacks from "walkers" entertaining and fresh. There are, however a few little things that cross my mind as I'm watching every week. Do you ever wonder any of these?

1.

I know it's the zombie apocalypse and all, but where did all the cool cars go?


2.

Why do they never, grab some deodorant when there out looking for useful things? They really look like they need it for heaven's sake.


3.

In the history of television and film has there ever been a sexy "Darryl" before? "I'm Larry, this is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl."


4.

Life must get pretty boring, why not raid the nearest library every once in a while?


5.

I don't know about you, but I think I'd be collecting some portable Hibachis or some other type of BBQ. The apocalypse would be a great excuse to get your grill going. Don't all humans love a good BBQ?


6.

Rick has gone crazy, made crappy decisions, and has often been a real asshole. Why do I still trust him so much?


7.

Why aren't those zombie corpses covered in nasty flies and loaded with maggots? Isn't that nature's way?


8.

Is it humanly possible to have eaten that entire pudding? I'm pretty sure I would have at least tried too Carl!


9.

I understand that few animals have survived the zombies, but what about birds? Zombies can't climb trees, and birds are not easy to catch, especially for slow-ass 'walkers."


10.

I don't know about you, but in case there is ever an apocalypse like this one,  I'm heading for the nearest giant lake. Once on the water, I will live on a house boat enjoying fishing, and sunbathing. The lake will keep me clean and happy. Walkers don't like water and you could float-free from mean humans as well. I'd have a trusty little speed boat for those "I must get to land moments" of course. Why hasn't anyone run across some nice boating community?

A Thousand Words

Photographs carry us through life. There are the pictures of our babyhood, graduations, wedding or weddings, and everything in between.

All I have to do is look around my house to stir up a whirlwind of emotion. Above my dining table hangs a treasured picture of my mom, and in my living room hangs a portrait of my son when he was three, a rare moment when I allowed him to play in the mud; my nephew at five blissfully experiencing snow for the first time, and a mantle filled with wonderful clips from the past.

My family has always been full of photographers. Amateurs like me who just love taking a pretty shot and professionals like my cousins. 

My grandfather owned his own studio, back in the day, where he experimented with  all kinds of photographic wonder. Therefore I've been lucky to have a rich assortment of family photos over the years. 

My mother loved photography. How I think she would marvel over the digital world we live in now. No more waiting to see how the rolls come out, instant reward in the palm of your hand, the ability to edit and instantly share your world with a friend.

I'm so very thankful to have an amazingly beautiful view of my childhood through her photographs, and I hope that my son will appreciate the photos I will someday leave for him.

One of my son's friends walked into my house a few years ago and said, "Wow coming here is like walking into a memory museum."

What a wonderful compliment, one I hope to always live up too.

My Grandpa with his trusty camera in hand.

The Nasty And Annoying Things NO ONE Tells You About True Love

As women, we are told very early on all about true love. Disney has drilled the idea into our brains our whole lives. We dream about it, we pray for it, we discuss it with our friends for hours, and yet the realities are less than 100% romance. Let's get real, when life gets tough we don't need Prince Charming we need a maid, a hefty savings account, an on-call nurse, and Samantha from Bewitched.

1. Your true love will clean up your puke after you've lost the flu battle. (hopefully)

2. You will undoubtedly fart in front of your true love.

3. Your true love will fart in front of you. (and probably relish in it.)

4. There will be moments when your sexy true love looks completely unsexy to you.

5. There will be choice moments when you consider the early demise of your one true love.

6. Your true love will leave his socks on the floor.

7. It's shocking, I know, but your true love's friends may hate you.

8. Sticky crumbs and worse will be left for you to clean up by your true love.

These little nasties can occur in any relationship, hey, we are human. We have bodily odors and faults. Just remember, you are not alone...your true love thinks you're nasty too!

10 Lessons I Learned From Scooby Doo

I remember racing home from the bus just so I could catch the last fifteen minutes of Scooby and the gang before my mother would flip the channel to Phil Donahue at 4pm. I learned a lot from Phil, but I also learned some important stuff from Scooby too. I have always loved Scooby Doo and over the years I've grown to appreciate the values this beloved show has taught me. 

1. Monsters are really just ordinary people.

2. You don't have to be beautiful to be cool.

3. A smart woman almost always saves the day.

4. Loyalty will get you everywhere.

5. You have to look deeper than the surface to see the truth.

6. True friends always have your back even when you're stoned or just plain stupid.

7. Over-eating will lead to a tummy ache every time.

8. Don't try to be too trendy, stick to a look that suits your personality.

9. When life get's overwhelming; sit back relax and enjoy a light snack.

10. You can learn a lot from meddlesome kids.


My darling son would also like it to be known that there should be a number eleven. So in honor of making him happy here is number eleven.

11. Scooby Snacks are really good!

Love, Kids, and Valentines

I remember the excitement Valentines Day always brought me when I was little. My mom always had boxes of chocolates for us and cards with wonderful things inside...a kitten bookmark, a pressed flower. Those tiny items dazzled my kid brain.

At school, we were lucky enough to have lavish parties. School parties were divine; cupcakes and suckers, lacy paper hearts, sharing your valentines, lots of laughing.

I always dressed in pink and red for Valentines Day, I still do. The big difference is that now I get to host the sweet little Valentine party.

These days I'm a bit more health conscious. This year we are having sliced banana with peanut butter garnish and raisins, popcorn, apple juice adorned with silly heart shaped crazy straws, and one sweet little organic sucker.

In the name of love, I decided that it might be cute to ask all those sweet little people just what Valentines Day means to them. Their answers aren't always what you might expect, but dang they're cute.

Malik age 3 - "Toys...I hide my eyes, I get candy. Ya, it's good."

Juliette age 6 - "It means that I love my family, and valentines means that my heart is telling me to love other people, and I love the way I know they love me when they look at me."

Anabel age 4 - "I don't know. Oooh, just like plates. Nothing on them. Just one lollyop. No cards, I already have cards, I don't need them."

Zachary age 5 - "It's when you put up stickers on your windows."

Chase age 4 - It's a party at school and handing out cards and bubbles because we love our friends."

Emily age 4 - "It means that we love mom and dad and we have to make them a card."

Sean age 5 - "Hugs, kisses, and candy."

Jayda age 5 - "A day for valentines goodies."

Tanner age 3 - "Love Mommy."

Jacob age 7 - "You give something to Mom."


I think they all did a marvelous job of summing up Valentines Day! I certainly hope yours is filled with love, hugs, and candy. :)