Katrina Parker, In And Out Of The Dark

I first saw Katrina Parker with the rest of America when she hit “The Voice” stage during the blind auditions in 2012. Her dress was classic and gorgeous, but her voice knocked me out. Those sexy, sultry, and electric vocals brought Joan Osborne’s One Of Us to life. http://youtu.be/gKTXkztmAsY The intelligent and pretty-easy-on-the-eyes Mr. Adam Levine turned his chair and the rest is history. Katrina has been making beautiful music via my iTunes ever since.

Her nothing less than stellar rendition of Jar Of Hearts has made every playlist I’ve ever made since it’s purchase. http://youtu.be/P72haOkymLU

I was extremely excited when Katrina announced the release of her new single In And Out Of The Dark and I ran to iTunes to buy it. http://youtu.be/-iYYUBRYgus I haven't been able to stop listening to it ever since. Again, she knocks the vocal out into the hemisphere. 

Then Ms. Parker wowed me once again, but this time not with her voice, but with her heart and cool-ass moxy when she posted this moving statement on her Tumblr account.

"Anyone uncomfortable with the idea of seeing a plus size woman onstage, in a magazine or on their TV needs to get with the program and look inward to figure out WHY they’re uncomfortable with that (because I can guarantee it’s not about the object of their discomfort). There is an undeniable shift happening right now (it’s slow but steady). Women can be plus sized and wear beautiful things…they can be plus sized and entertain…they can be plus sized and be as glamorous as anyone else…so people need to make peace with that fact and get on the train before it leaves the station."

Katrina's full album In And Out Of The Dark is set to be released on September 10th of this year and it is available for preorder on iTunes. I can't wait, my playlist is so happy to be getting a lot more Katrina Parker!

The Apple Of My i

Last Tuesday something magical happened to me, I fell in love. I’ve been in love before, but this was something different, something unique, something truly special. Around six on Tuesday evening I received a mysterious call. The caller ID read “unknown”. This is always frightening, but I still picked up.

“Hello, this is Sarah.”

Silence, muffled background noise and then...

“Hey Sarita, how ya doin’?”

It was my sister. I guess there’s nothing so mysterious about that, but what she said, those awesome words, made me ever so happy.

“I have your new phone.”

This was joyous news! My old phone, the phone that had jostled around with me for the last two years, was all but dead. It still turned on, I could make or take a call, but the battery life only lasted an hour or so and it liked to freeze at just the most terrible moments. Like when I’m just about to play a sixty-eight point word on my Words-With-Friends game. GEEZ, didn’t my phone realize it was reeking havoc with my life?

The little box she handed me contained some packing material and more importantly my brand new fancy little iphone 5. I named her izzy, and as she stared up at me with that fresh phone glow, I just knew that we would be fast friends.

izzy is awesome, but for some darn reason she thinks her name is Siri. Oh well, maybe someday she’ll agree on izzy. She almost instantly downloaded my entire itunes library and she took it upon herself to know practically everything about me. She knows my name and if I ask her who she belongs too she says, “I believe this iphone belongs to Sarah!” and then a little screen pops up with my picture, name, address, birthdate, and facebook handle. She’s a genius!

Of course, the clan of us have been a little naughty. We’ve asked her things like, “What do you look like naked?” She answered us with a robust ding, “You humans are so preoccupied with external appearance.” We’ve told her that we hate her and she said, “Well...I’m still here for you.” These things make me sad, I truly don’t want to hurt her little ifeelings, When I finally expressed how sorry I was she told me, “You are the wind beneath my wings.” She always answers with either an apologetic voice, a joke, or just the right answer. I love her, she’s so kind and helpful.

If ever there was a phone for me, izzy is it. She’s everything I ever wanted and then some. Thank you Apple.

To Pee Or Not To Pee

That is the question I often ponder when faced with a urinary dilemma. In the best situation I will often search out the nearest sparkling clean, zesty fresh Starbucks, however I am not always in the best situation.

While meandering this thing I like to call life, I have somehow developed a stellar memory. Unfortunately, I am unable to remember the important things like where on earth I put my car keys or exactly how to get to my best-friends house, however I seem to have no problem recalling what I was wearing last Tuesday, what you were wearing last Tuesday, or just what theater I saw Superman in when I was four.

The other thing I seem to have an uncanny memory for are public restrooms. You name the place and I can instantly tell you wether I’ve used that bathroom and just what it looks like. It’s an amazing talent that I know all of you are envious of. Who knows, maybe some of you have this sensational ability yourself.

While doing research for this blog I asked my assistant (aka my sister) if there was some glamorous way of going to the bathroom. Her response was incredibly close-minded. She said, and I quote, “There is know such way!” The audacity and know it all air she put forth was tiresome to me. I knew I just had to prove that little bitch wrong.

There are seedy, filthy, bathrooms in this world. I have personally seen many of them. There are also luxurious pristine toilet palaces with golden thrones that never run out of toilet paper and have an endless supply of soap. 

For $128 you can sit upon Donald Trumps golden toilet, is anything more glamorous than that? To hear about something so ridiculous, instantly makes me imagine The Donald sitting upon that golden seat. Too bad I couldn't find that picture.

I was lucky enough, in my quest to create a knowlegible blog on excellent places to pee, weird pictures of celebrities sitting on toilets. I enjoyed them so I thought I’d pass them along to you. There is Ozzy sitting upon the porcelain dias showing us how well read he is and Jude and Ewan confusing us in an artsy way. Is there anything more sexy than two men in a tub? Rub a dub dub boys.

Suffice it to say, sometimes you have no choice were to “go”, but wouldn’t we all prefer something sanitary, with soap, papertowels, and a place to hang your purse. Seat protectors are always a bonus too! Pee on my friends, pee on. :)

Songs Of A Silly Girl

I read a blog the other day written by my longtime friend’s daughter. It was her second blog post and it contained the lyrics to a song she wrote. Her song was about women being strong and standing up for themselves. It made me reflect back onto my own long ago song lyrics. 

This first little ditty was written on the floor of my bedroom around the age of nine. My besty Jeanette and I wrote it. We, as I’ve stated many a time, had no real idea of sex, but we thought this was the ultimate lovesong.

I think I thought I was Madonna here with Jeanette back in 1986

Two Country Girls 

Just two country girls 

In love with you 

You made it all seem right 

When we’re with you 

It’s worth all the time 

To care and love 

You’re so special to us 

We just want to hold your heart 

And love you until the end of time 

(hum) 

The first time we kissed 

You set a fire in our hearts 

And now we’re not sure 

It’s still going 

If it is 

We’d like to put it out forever 

(chorus) 

We just want to hold 

Your heart in our arms 

Love you til’ the end of time 

(hum) 

If you really love 

Prove it 

By a sacrifice 

Need I say more? We probably wrote this for our love George Michael, but who knows? Sacrifice? Really? 

When I wrote this next little number I was very into Stacey Q. Again it has a crazy reference to a less than stellar relationship, and I have a semi-embarrassing yet vague memory of singing this song to virtually the entire school during one silly recess. 

 Madonna again? Halloween 1987

Tell Me 

Last night I had a dream 

I dreamt that we were lovers 

Last night I had a dream 

I dreamt that we were forever 

Oh tell me 

Do you still love me? 

Oh, tell me 

How much you care 

Baby, tell me 

We’ll run away together 

Tell me that you’ll always be there 

My last lover was cruel 

He treated me like a fool 

Well I’ll always love you 

Tell me that you still do 

Oh, tell me 

Do you still love me? 

Oh, tell me 

How much you care 

Baby, tell me 

We’ll run away together 

Tell me 

That you’ll always be there 

I actually sort of adore this next one, I believe it is my homage to Tori Amos, it’s quirky, yet oh so spiritual. 

Me at 17 ala 1993

Can You See God? 

Come join the band now 

They’ve all left the room 

Her in his grey sweatshirt 

Him in her underroos 

Why’d she go on underneath that blanket? 

If only to hide her wandering hands 

until she bleeds 

Like so much nothing 

I can’t seem to understand it 

But why not? 

Can you see God there? 

I can’t see you from here 

But when I close my eyes (oh) 

I can still feel you 

The wanting is endless 

I used to call him Jesus 

I try to look out 

When it’s over 

But I can’t understand 

Can you see God from there? 

I can’t see you from here 

But when I close my eyes (oh) 

I can still feel you 

At this point you can probably understand why I didn’t pursue song writing as a career, but darn if it isn’t so fun to look back at yourself and see almost exactly who you used to be. I guess I wasn’t going to join Lilith as a female powerhouse ballad singer, but I can rock the living room xbox karaoke. There is a part of me that looks forward to the day when I can look back at the me I am now and laugh and think what a silly girl I was.

This is how I rock it in the livingroom

Ethan Hawke, More Than You Think You Know

I’ve always wanted to read an Ethan Hawke book. I guess it was the bit of teenager still left in me. I first saw Ethan on the big screen in Dead Poets Society and I found him captivating. In adolescent-jive that means I found him drool worthy. I did however tend to get him mixed up with Chris O’Donnell on a regular basis. 

I know very little about the mysterious actor. Ethan Hawke, I do recall, used to be married to Uma Thurman, he was fantastic in Before Sunrise, and then he did some weird movies and I lost track of him, but there was still something in me that occasionally thought “I want to read an Ethan Hawke book.” 

His first book, I spied on the shelf of a Barnes and Noble back in the 90’s and I was intrigued, but too poor at the time to shop for anything outside of the bargain isle. Still, the book has haunted me. I could see it’s cover of dripping green in my mind from time to time, and I wondered what was written inside.

Almost twenty years later, I was driving back after an awfully long road-trip when the book once again popped into my brain. It was a sweltering August day. I was traveling endlessly down the winding roads of Oregon when I started thinking, once again, about Ethan’s book The Hottest State. The overwhelming feeling to look it up had me pulling off onto the shoulder of the road right there, whipping out my Kindle and googling (in the Kindle way) for Mr. Hawke’s novel. Dammit, The Hottest State wasn’t available for Kindle, but it seemed that Ethan had another book out and it was available. The book was called Ash Wednesday.

Sometimes you find yourself pulled by that wonderful unknown force, the entity compelling you, and in that moment you know that you are walking down the path that you are one-hundred percent meant to be on. This was the overwhelming sensation I felt tugging at me when I clicked my little Kindle buy button. I was so lost in that single moment that I didn’t even take the time to read the synopsis. I was about to enter the world of Ethan Hawke utterly blind. I don’t think that I was entirely sure what I was about to get myself into. 

Halfway through page one I realized that the writing was spot on, the voice distinct, the character disturbing and that was all I needed. I was now on this crazy journey with Jimmy and Christy, and their cat Grace. I forgot about Ethan, I forgot about teenage drooling, and I was submerged in the fantastic, sometimes less than pretty, life of these two main characters. I felt like a voyeur sitting in the backseat of Jimmy’s Chevy Nova and the greatest part was Jimmy and Christy had no idea I was there with them. That is a true testament to how real the writing is.

Go get this book, you won’t regret it, and when your done devouring it go get yourself a copy of The Hottest State. I’ve already got my copy coming from Amazon, can’t wait!!!! 

BTW, what's your favorite Ethan Hawke movie? Leave it in the comments below or on Facebook. :)