F*** You Days, A Universal Pastime

I don't really look like this

Why is it that some days you wake up and the world looks bright, chipper even? Everything seems to be going your way. The sun is shining, your hair looks amazing, you have plenty of gas in the car, and your bank account is in the black.

Then there are the less than stellar days. The shining sun woke you up with a glaring migraine, your perfect hair is sporting an Alfalfa cowlick, your tank is on E, and your account is overdrawn.

Why do the good and the bad seem to come in giant waves together? I find that when I’m at my brokest, that is the moment that I get a flat tire. And, that flat tire will usually occur on a Sunday when Les Schwab is closed. Yay, life just sent me a little message.

The message is very clearly a big old “F*** you.” Why does the universe conspire against us in such stressful ways? That is the age old Tootsie-Pop question, and the answer is always the same my dear, “The world will never know.”

A few months ago, my cat drank rubbing alcohol out of the tiny cup I was disinfecting my nose-ring in. I had no idea that this was even possible. This, of course occurred at 1am on a Saturday/Sunday-vet-office-totally-closed-time. While he was vomiting and drunkenly trying to walk around and falling down, I was obsessively googling finding horror after horror. Things like, “If he lives through the night he should be okay,” and “Brain damage may occur.” Brain damage seemed almost worse than death for my already mentally challenged kitty!!! This is the cat that runs for the car because he’s so excited to see you and, as you’re screaming for him to move, decides that the tire of the moving car would be a lovely place to sharpen his claws......OOH....DUMB-CAT/FLAT-TIRE, COULD THERE BE A CONNECTION???

Anyway, thankfully kitty woke up the next morning seeming no more stupid and thankfully alive, so all was good, but I was a wreck! No one wants to kill their cat while cleaning jewelry.

Suffice it to say bad stuff happens, your day could be awesome on the same day your neighbor's house burns to the ground. The universe is tricky that way. So please enjoy all the great moments and remember that no matter what everything always works out in the end and Les Schwab will be open on Monday. :)

Kitty really does look like this

:) Have a nice Day!