"Deals" I learned From My Grandma, Queen Irene

Queen Irene B. Lesh

My Grandmother was an amazing lady. She raised five children, she was a spy for the government during the depression, and she could rock a pantsuit like nobody's business. She also rarely used the word "thing,"  hence my title. My Queen B Grandma, instead, used the word "deal" for virtually everything. "Sarah, can you you hand me that "deal" over there?" or "What was that "deal" on the news about?"

She spoke her own language, and created a rather hysterical way to go about life while still maintaining her lady-like grace. Here are a few of the funny little "deals" she taught me. :)



1. Chocolate is a basic food group. Always hide Mars bars close at hand.

2. Lipstick is the only cosmetic a girl really needs. But she must own 700 tubes of the same color.
3. A lady doesn’t yell, a lady whistles. Never raise your voice, simply learn to whistle loudly. 

4. There is never a mess unless you see it. So stuff those closets and hide everything with a dust ruffle. 

5. French kisses are for sluts. If one must DO them, one must never be seen DOING them.
6. A good dinner should always be followed with pie! 

7. Wear a bra at all times, you will be able to brag that you have 30 year old boobs when you are 75. 

8. If you are going to say you are collector, you should own it. Fill every room with scary dolls and be proud. 

9. When a visitor comes to stay the night, stick them in the guest room full of scary dolls so they never return again. 

10. A refrigerator is never full until you can no longer shut the door. When this happens always have a spare refrigerator available, and pickles last for at least 40 years.









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