The Over-Crammed DVR Epiphany

Last month as I was combing through my over-crammed DVR in search of something compelling to wile away the afternoon, I stumbled upon an epiphany. Why on earth was I throwing away my dwindling funds on television that I obviously had no time to watch? Seriously! Some weeks, fifty hours worth of weekly TV would be waiting for me on Saturday morning. The stress of it was overwhelming. I found myself setting my alarm for six am so that I could fit in an hour of “Castle” before breakfast. Incredibly good, well acted, written, produced, and directed television programming was controlling my life and I was the only one who could stop it.

The first step was calling the Direct TV people. This was a daunting task. I knew that they were going to be hurtling great deals and perks in my path to cancellation and I needed to stay strong. “Ma’am we are willing to offer you $30.00 off your monthly bill for a year.” Oh so tempting, but no no no. Holding tight to my inner convictions I was able to muscle through and successfully cancel my programming. Yay!!!

I was excited beyond words at the idea of saving seventy-five smackers a month, but what I didn’t understand at the time was the sense of calm and serenity that would wash over my psyche. All those little fifty hour a week appointments had disappeared. A shelf that once hosted that little black box of stress was now able to hold lovely decorative  keepsakes. I was able to take my own life back.

TV hasn’t been out of my life completely. Netflix and Hulu have kept me entertained, but on my own terms. I’ve been feeling nostalgic of late, watching old episodes of poorly acted, written, and directed television programming. Things I would never have been able to watch while trying to juggle my over-crammed DVR. The first show on my leisurely agenda was the cutting edge and probably worst medical drama ever produced for television, “Emergency” starring the weak whiney acting of Randolph Mantooth. Nowadays, I’m certain that no agent would have signed him without a mandatory name change. 

In this high tech “medical emergency” show from 1972 they do amazing things like perform surgery without sterilization or surgical masks and run around in a shiny red fire engine bringing injured people to the emergency room at Ramsgate General. The sexy paramedics even save stellar guest stars like John Travolta whos one line was, “Help I think my leg is broke!” You could tell from the intensity of John’s cry that he was destined for great things.

Also on the road to nostalgia has been the ever popular “Cheers”. “Cheers” stands out because each episode is blocked like a stage show and the writing and acting are quite good. “Cheers” does highlight some politically incorrect relationships between men and women that would be frowned upon in society today. For instance, according to the show, it is quite normal to slap, berate, threaten to kill, and lie to your girlfriend and still be considered a suave leading man. Horrendous in this day and age. We would demand that Diane call the police and have Sam arrested for domestic abuse, but in the eighties we love Sam and Diane. We want them to be happy and serve those drinks in a place where everybody knows your name.

The next show I decided to dabble in has been an ultimate favorite of mine for as long as I can remember. “The Adventures Of Ozzie and Harriet” is timeless, classic, family friendly, and best of all funny. Bumbling Ozzie Nelson and his wife, the clever Harriet, are such a relief after years of shows showing stern husbands with their ever-doting brainless wives. Ozzie accidentally creates mayhem and Harriet fixes everything. Just like real marriage! Whatever it is that Ozzie does for a living, since we never see him go to work or hear them speak about Ozzie’s “job”, keep them smack in the middle of middle class suburbia. The two boys, David and the irrepressible Ricky (who seems pretty well contained to me) are a hoot of charm and respectability. The Nelsons easily make everyday chores like mowing the lawn and buying a lamp exciting and entertaining and the musical performances are funtabulous. I just love those crazy Nelsons.

And so my life without the distraction of must see TV has become more enjoyable. I never knew how much free time I was giving over to the boob tube and while I still enjoy entertaining TV programs, they aren’t ruling me, they are giving me something. I’ve learned just how far we’ve come with woman’s rights, that people really are simple and you don’t have to be chased by terrorists to live an exciting life. I’m so thankful that technology has advanced medicine so much in the last thirty plus years and that when I call 911 the paramedics won’t give me an IV for a sprained ankle. I also learned that life is more than a TV show. Life is taking care of ourselves and our families and being a citizen and community member, not just watching them do those things on TV. Live and create your own life because that is what life is all about.